The question of childcare: Single parenting

A person cannot be judged on a scale of what sins he commits. It’s what he does that makes him a good person.

          

          Childhood experiences play a major role in how a person turns out to be as an adult. Hence, there is a great importance of proper parenting in a child’s development. The care and attention that a child requires while growing up has to be efficiently divided between the two parents for proper upbringing. A child who loses one of his parents by form of death, divorce or other new age social norms, plays a big hurdle in the child’s mental as well as psychological development.

          Bhaswati Goswami, a nursery teacher in a leading school of South Delhi, retraces her experience with her students who lived with single parents. She says that the basic point that differentiates a child with respect to his upbringing is the lack of involvement in his life by the single parent. Such children either are totally reserved or are highly influenced by petty issues that surround them. She talks about her student Farhan who lived with his mother. His mother worked in a government school to stabilize the family’s financial condition. As a result, Farhan greatly lacked parental attention and care in his early childhood. Farhan would look out of his kitchen window to a temple where he would see beggars involved in sexual activities. Mrs. Goswami states that Farhan would come to school and practice these actions in the toilet or in the classroom.

          In Farhan’s case, due to the loss of one parent, he lacked the presence of a role model that every child requires.

          The basic problem that a single parent faces while raising a child is giving all the love and care on behalf of both parents.

          Another problem that a child who lives with a single parent faces is loneliness. Radhika Saxena (name changed), a student of Delhi University, who lives with a single parent says that a child who falls in such a category feels many-a-times exploited in terms of health. Due to the lack of attention a child searches for alternate methods to pass his time. These alternate activities include drugs, alcoholism, gadget addiction and in extreme cases may also lead to Schizophrenia.

          Rahul Sachdeva (name changed), a student of Maharaja Agrasen College reflects upon his early childhood and his suddenly increased responsibilities after the untimely death of his father. He says, “ After the death of my father, my mother worked full time to sustain the family. I had to take care of my little sister and also the household chores.”

          With all the family responsibilities, certain social responsibilities also arise. After the loss of a parent, society sympathizes with the child initially, but in some cases the hypocrisy of the society prevails. Society blames the child’s upbringing for any and all questionable or non-questionable deeds that a child commits to.

          A genuine solution that psychologist Mansi Tripathi states is that a child in such a category requires caring, and to imply such a major responsibility on a single parent is harsh and unjust. In cases where the children of single parents live in a joint family, their psychological as well as educational development is highly commendable.

          On our part, we as society can fill in the void of love that such children face, by lending a helping hand wherever required. As a duty, we should be friendly and respect all the emotional as well as psychological barriers that they might have.